This was sent to me by Trigger Mortis of Assassination City Roller Derby in Dallas:
Assassination City Roller Derby presents DERBY ROYALE - Bout VI
——————–Beginning of transmission——————–“Ask not what your derby can do for you, but what you can do for your derby.”
In the sixth bout of the season on Aug 19, Assassination City treated a packed house to a hard-hitting, jaw-dropping roller derby royale In the first bout of the evening, the appetite of the hungry crowd was whetted as the underdogs of La Revolucion, looking for their first win of the season, challenged last season’s champions, Lone Star Assassins, to a rematch. The entree (and dessert!) of the evening, however, was a fantastic tussle between ACRD’s newest team, the Bombshell Brigade and the undefeated menace The Deadly Kennedys.
The first bout between the Lone Star Assassins and La Revolucion began the evening with a bang. La Revolucion pulled out all the stops, catapulting half the team line-up into jammer positions at some point or another–Rota Fury, Apocalypse POW, Fairy Painful, Arsen Elle, Athena Monster, and tiny but “O. so tough” Jackie O. Nice Ass, and constantly planting in the pack their hard-to-get-around and impossible-to-move blockers Fatale Castro, Massey Graves and Trigger Mortis. The formula was sweet, but not triumphant against LSA’s killer strategies and nimble jammers like Kernal Angus, Terror PussieKat, rookie Wanda Whompya, Threata Garbo and Mia Hammer. Despite La Revolucion’s best efforts, the Lone Star Assassins rode off once again into the sunset (and into the championship bout) with the victory. Lone Star Assassins - 92. La Revolucion - 49.
The second bout of the evening between the seemingly sweet and sassy Bombshell Brigade and the haughty and intimidating Deadly Kennedys was filled with action and surprises. Killer blocker Mental Pause and newbie power blocker LuAnn Splatter went toe-stop to toe-stop with the twins of pain, Mistress of Mischief and Young Gunz. The DK’s all-star jammers Strawberry Deathcake, June Meat Cleaver and Muff Thumper got an unexpected run for their money from a fired up first-seasoner Herassiz Mine, first-gamer Jezebel Scathing, and an unstoppable Vanna Rockin’. Jammers from both teams hopped and weaved in and out of the pack at impossible angles and unfathomable speeds in an explosive display of athleticism that had every fan in the crowd out their chair with beers raised in the air. While the Bombshell Brigade ended their last game of the season with a newfound respect from the league and crowd alike, the Deadly Kennedys still emerged from the rumble undefeated, securing them a place on the track in the championship bout. Deadly Kennedys - 83. Bombshell Brigade - 53.
The final bout of the season, DERBY NEVER DIES, will find the Lone Star Assassins breathing down the necks of the Deadly Kennedys in a skate to the death. Who will come out the ultimate victors? Who will go home crying to Mommy? Who will crack and what madness will ensue when the title is on the line and everything is at stake?The answers will be waiting for you on SEPT. 9, so BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW (before they’re all gone!) at ACDerby.com. Pack your cooler (BYOB-no glass), your thirst for cheap beer, sheer stockings and sheer pandemonium, and head on over to Texas Skatium at 2020 Rowlett Rd. in Garland. Doors open at 7pm. Tickets are $15 at the door, $10 in advance at ACDerby.com, CD World @ Mockingbird/Greenville, Pluckers, Dad’s Broadway Skateland, Absinthe Lounge, SkateBus SkateShop, Texas Skatium and DoubleWide Bar. Live soundtrack to this dirty duel played by GHOULTOWN and DJ Sista WhiteNoise. National anthem kickoff played by Shadow of the Spoonfed Tribe. (Benefiting YWCA of Garland)
Welcome to Assassination City….Watch your head.
——————–End of Transmission——————–
Thank you for the update, Trigger Mortis! If you ever want to send me a bout recap, an update on your league or info to post on the calendar, please email me at anneshank@rockymountainrollergirls.com.
